Catching Up

Although there were some days when I felt like it, here is photo evidence that I didn't come home from Texas in July and spend the next 5 months in bed.

At the end of July we went on a family trip to Yellow Stone.



In August we decided to get at least one camping trip in. We went up to Meadow Lake. Beautiful!!

In September we mostly just goofed off.

For Halloween we were Goldie Locks and the Three Bears. Here's Goldie, and Baby Bear visiting Grandma's House.

The last three months we have been harvesting the garden, canning fruits and veggies, and drying yummy things to snack on, like apples, apricots, and sunflower seeds. We're so very thankful for this year's good weather and big garden.

So there you have it. I'm not being to much of a bum, and life's little challenges haven't gotten the best of me either.

HAPPY THANKS GIVING!!!

Swing Glee

Jill Loves Swings! She loves swings more than this picture shows. But isn't it a beautiful picture with the crab-apple blossoming right behind her and the sky so blue and the grass so very green?

Let's start over . . .

Jill Loves Swings! All Jill wants to do when she goes to the park is Swing. Jill's whole heart sings when she is swinging. She gets so excited about swinging that when she sees swings at a park she has to stop on the spot and shout, "WOW!" as loudly as possible. Jill can swing for 30 mintues straight and still want to swing for more. She has to be reminded that her arms are tired and that there are snacks to want to leave the swings.

Let me just finish by saying,

Jill Loves Swings!

Saying Our Last Goodbyes

Monday night, Mom began to decline very quickly. We gave her what she needed to be comfortable and stayed close. After a day of whispering our love to Mom she drifted into sleep and passed away peacefully at 8:00 PM, Tuesday night.

I love each of you and want to thank you for your sweet words of comfort. We will miss Mom very much. For anyone who is in town, we are having an visitation at Oakcrest Funeral Home Thursday night from 6-8 PM; the funeral will be at the local LDS church at 10 AM Friday morning with a grave side service to follow.

Small and Simple Things

Last Friday the hospice nurse, and many of us, thought Mom wouldn't be with us Saturday. This morning she gave my little Jill a high five and smiled as she met her 18th grandbaby, Liam Mott, born at 6:40 on June 28th.

I have been in Texas longer than I ever expected, a bitter sweet miracle. Each day my mom gets weaker and more nauseous and I've run out of things to say to loving friends who ask how she is doing. The truth is too hard to put into words.

But as bitter as the bitter is, the sweet is oh so sweet. For the past two Sundays I've heard the sisters on my home ward share my mother's sweet final testimony of God's love in lessons and talks. Through her experience my mom has learned and testified the everyone who will listen that our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can comprehend. Though she's been sicker than I can imagine, and literally at deaths door, she still smiles with the knowledge of that love each time another visitor comes calling.

I've been asked more than once this past year how I can believe in a loving Heavenly Father when he is letting my mother suffer so much. It seems so cruel . . . you're right; it does seem cruel, but things are not always what they seem.

I know that we were sent to this earth to get bodies and gain experience. While we are here we will face trials and challenges of many different kinds that have the potential to strengthen us, if we let them. Some of our struggles are caused by our own poor choices; some of our challenges come from a loving Father who gives us experiences that will help us learn things like service and love and that will strengthen our faith when we strive to do our best. And then there are the challenges that come because we live in an imperfect world and have imperfect bodies.

Heavenly Father did not give my mom cancer. My mom got cancer because she is mortal and susceptible to the sicknesses and diseases of this imperfect world that we live in.

But Heavenly Father loves my mom so very much and has blessed her greatly during her fight and even now. Some of the ways Heavenly Father has blessed her may seem small and simple, but small and simple things can mean the world to a dying woman and her family. Here are just a few of our blessings over the past two years.

Living two years with an aggressive, incurable cancer; being able to see 6 new grandbabies, a son leave on a mission, your last daughter marry in the temple, and your last son graduate from high school and prepare for a mission when you only had "two weeks to a month to live."

Being well enough between treatments to travel and serve and support many friends and family members during happy and difficult times of their own.

Having loving neighbors and friends.

Having the help of three daughters living at home during the most difficult parts of treatment.

Not being able to smell. (That's my personal favorite)

There are more blessings, and many more to come. I'm very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful of us and blesses us during our trials. I'm grateful for a savior who loves us loves us enough to do what it took to understand our pain and suffering so he could comfort us perfectly.

This is life! We'll have trials until we die; we'll also have blessings if we care to look for them.

Home for a few days

My mom came home from the hospital on Hospice Care last Thursday. Because of her permanent chemo treatment port we've been able to give her pain and nausea medicine by IV every few hours around the clock. She has been unable to keep any food down for over a week, but is still with us and able to hold conversations. We feel very blessed.

Dear Friends

I know you all come here to find out what's going on in our lives. I love you all so very much for keeping up with us and praying for us during this hard time with Mom's cancer fight.

I just want to let you  know that the girls and I are flying down to Texas today on a one way ticket to say goodbye to Mom for the last time.

If my dad were writing this he would say something wonderful like, "The Gospel is true. We have a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves us, and we know that Families are Forever."

Families ARE forever. I know this with every ounce of who I am, and I know that although Mom won't be here on earth with us much longer, she will be able to help us and love us in very surprising ways for many many years to come.

Love you all!!! I'll see you when I get back.

Secret Hide-out

All of the cupboards under our sinks are to remain empty at all times.
If I forget this new house rule, I have a little helper who will kindly clean everything out and place it on the floor for me.

Piano Lessons

While she was in Idaho, Sister Beck shared a lovely story about Sister Funk, the General Young Women's President in the 70's and a concert pianist.

I told the story to Jill, and she thought for sure she could be that good if she practiced hard enough.


But it's hard to know just how many hours of practicing one should do to become a master pianist.

Perhaps if you bang the calculator against middle C, the answer will come to you.

Happy Birthday Rebecca Tate!!!

Bio-Algebra 101

Are you ready for your first lesson:

XY + XX = ????

XY

Plus

XX

equals

XX

and

xx

 

but the real question is, who do these two babies look like? Mom or Dad?

Adversity

My dad called me yesterday. Mom will be home from the hospital soon, and the doctors who have been treating her know much more about the type of cancer she is fighting. That is one blessing that came from her hospital stay.

Very honestly Dad said, "What happens next? There is only One Person who knows the answer to that question . . . She has been living on the Lord's time these last two years."

During this week, this April 2009 conference talk, Adversity by Elder Eyring, has come to mind several times. Elder Eyring shared these thoughts shortly after we found out that Mom was diagnosed with cancer, and that we were expecting our first daughter Jill. There were many times that year, and many more times since then, that I've asked the Lord, "Why?" Elder Eyring couldn't have shared a more appropriate message for me at a more appropriate time.

Because my mom got sick there are many things that I expected to happen that didn't, but many more things that I didn't expect to happen have happened. From my mom, because of her sickness, I've learned so much about love, service, helping carry other's burdens, and letting others help me when my burdens get heavy. I've learned about my mom and her incredible ability to feel the spirit and learn from all of the experiences this life has offered her. I've learned about her trust in the Lord and about the depth of her testimony of the Savior and his atoning sacrifice for us. I've learned about her love for me and her desire for me to feel the Lord's love for me and build that same trust in him that she has built. We have had many conversations that would not have happened under different circumstances.

And I've learned to count my blessings and not get too upset when things don't go the way I expected.

But, like Dad said, even though things don't work out we still make plans, because, "when you have plans, enduring to the end is a lot more fun."

Happy Mother's Day

What a wonderful day!!! I told Matt that he makes every day feel like Mother's day because on Sundays he is usually the one who cooks breakfast. Its lovely to be married to such a wonderful man.

This mother's day I'm extra thankful for my mother who is in the hospital due to some complications with her cancer battle. I love her so very much and don't remind her enough that I'm grateful for everything she has taught me and how she is still teaching me every time I talk to her.

Having my mom very far away has given me lots of opportunities to be mothered by others. I'm thankful for all of my friends here in Idaho who have helped fill that need. Thank you for cooking me dinner, for coming over to play with and hold my babies, for talking to me over the phone and giving me wonderful advice. Thank you for doing my laundry and mopping my floor and  keeping Jill while MaryEllen and I took a few days to recover. Thank you for lending me books, for lending me support, and for letting me know that I wasn't the biggest baby on earth when I felt like I was in over my head.

Thank you for mothering me. I love you all.

Happy Mother's Day!

Four Generations and Grandpa

Surprise. I got to see my mom and dad at the end of March. What a sweet blessing. Mom, Grandma, Jill, and I took a much needed Four Generation picture. 

And Jill got to meet her grandparents. By the end of the trip she was in love with Grandpa. It must be that soft, soothing voice he uses to win the favor of very small children.

We love you Grandma and Grandpa and were so excited that we got to see you this Spring.

Big Sis.

  

Being a new big sister is hard work. Some days we're very happy about it.

Some days we're not very happy about anything.

And some days it's hard to decide how we feel.

Moods are not a fun thing to figure out. But it's okay. Mom understands.

New Recruit

The first round of draft picks have begun early this year

Meet

MaryEllen Svedin

At 7lb 1oz, 19.5 in long,

she's a perfect pick for our team

And she came right in time for spring sports:

April 8, 2011

2:24 AM

Maturnity Modle

So, I'm due tomorrow!!!

I know you haven't seen much of me during the past 9 months. I'm a little bigger around the middle, that's all.

It's not that I've been avoiding the camara; I just haven't thought about taking pictures. Until one day a very kind friend of mine stopped me and asked me to do a little spin. She said, "Have you looked in the mirror today? I love this. What you're doing here is fabulous. You could be a modle." I honestly had not looked in the mirror for very long so I was a little worried about what she saw.

This is a picture of what she loved . . .

Apparently she's a big fan of pea coats on pregnant ladies, and bright pink socks with black shoes and white pants.

What ever it was she loves, her thoughtful comment made me remember that I needed to take pictures. I decided I'd better do it before I looked in the mirror.

Here's a side view without the coat. Happy early birthday, Baby.

The Shirt

One of my sisters bought this shirt at a thrift store.

She lent it to another one of my sisters when she was pregnant. 

Who lent it to another sister when she became pregnant.

There is something stylish, and bonding about wearing Jacki-O when you're 9 months along. You can only imagine my sheer delight when I received Jacki in the mail just in time for my last month. I proudly wore this shirt at a "Mother's Blessing" baby shower, (I'll tell you all about it later, and you will love it.) and to the movies last night. Just a little bit longer and Jacki will be making her way back to Texas again. Thanks for sending the shirt all this way for little ol' me.

I love my sistas!!!

Grandpa Dean

I've been thinking all week about my Grandpa Dean. Since Christmas he's had trouble catching his breath, but that really hasn't slowed him down any. Then, two weekends ago he went to the hospital with maybe pneumonia, but no. Last Monday his doctors flew him to the U of U for a lung biopsy and found that the old dairy man (80 years to be exact) had developed a lung disease called Pulmonary Fibrosis. His options were A) live in the hospital for the rest of his life or 2) live in the hospital for the rest of his life. I think he chose one of the two.

Grandpa Dean passed away Tuesday morning, 2 days after his and Grandma's 17th wedding anniversary.

You see, Grandpa Dean's wife and my Grandpa Phillips passed away when I was 13, and Dean and Grandma by a sweet gift of grace (and an even sweeter childhood sweetheart story) found each other and were married a year later.

I remember when Grandpa Phillips died. I had just turned 13 and was very awkward and thoughtful. I remember visiting Grandma and being very upset about the sleeping arrangements. Grandma asked me if I was lonely and if I'd like to sleep with her because she got lonely too. I remember thinking outside of myself for the first time that summer, and then, being very grateful for Dean and the thought that he and Grandma would be together.

The first time I met Dean my big family was eating breakfast at Grandma's kitchen table. Dean came in, filled a bowl of cereal and went outside to eat it alone at the patio picnic table. Remember how I always felt a little lonely? Well, I picked up my bowl and went outside to join him. We didn't say much to each other, but I remember feeling good just sitting with him. I liked him from the start.

Years later, after I'd graduated from college I really got to know Dean. One Sunday afternoon I was playing Grandma's piano and he asked me to play A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief. I played it through and looked up to ask if there was another he liked, but didn't because he was wiping his cheeks. Then, quietly he just said, "That's my favorite."

I'll never forget Dean's sweet tenderness, his laugh, or the way he loved old Westerns. He loved to work hard, he loved his family, and he loved to know that there were people who loved him back. I loved him very much and I'll miss him very much.

Snow Day!

What do you know, it actually got above freezing this week.



This is not our first run in the snow, but it is one of the few events captured in picture.
Jill loves these pink snowpants. She would wear them every day, just around the house, if I let her.

At first she didn't know what to do with herself.

Then she got brave.

All the snow here is old, gross, and icy under the fluffy top layer, so we didn't venture into any drifts. We just ran up and down the sidewalk in front of our apartment and looked at the snow on our hands and feet.

What is Dad making?

What is Dad making???

Can I see it up close?

Can I help?

So, is this what I'm supposed to do? Just kick my feet up a little?

I think I like it.

 

Oh, this is really nice and just my size. I know I like it.

Wow Dad you're the best.

Thanks Dad! I love you!!!!!!!

Mommy's Little Helper

Jill loves to help.



She picks up toys.

She points out what needs to be done next.

And she always lets us know when it's time to rest.

Sewing With Mommy

Alright Jill, let's get going. Can you unfold the fabric for us?

Good job; now lay it with front sides together.

Awesome. Can you iron it flat?

Okay! Let's sew.